Penny's Jottings

I learnt to read when I was small I remember the first book I read

I always have a book open, in the lounge, in the bath, in my bed

I like murders, comedy and drama, I read magazines and newspapers too

I lose myself in the pages following narrative  made up and true

I cry and I laugh with the characters, I follow their tales to the end

and now I share the joy and pain when I talk of the books with my friends

We meet once a month, we eat and we drink and talk of our personal stuff

we laugh and we cry, discuss the book and go home when we’ve had enough

we’ve read lots of books, some good and some bad and shared our personal stories

we talk of our families, our loves and our hates, our sorrows our losses and glories

We cook for each other, well I order pizza, and share lots of wine and much laughter

I look forward to book club once a month, hope we’re together for ever after 🙂

I like to practice mindfulness, its the adult thing to do

But when it comes to doing it I haven’t got a clue!

I start by putting all my troubles in bubbles in the sky

then each one pops  and supposedly away my problems fly

I settle down my thinking, I relax and close my eyes

I listen, hearing birds, a lawn mower and buzzing flies

an Airplane flies overhead and  Oh I remember when!

Memories flood my brain, concentrations gone again.

I’m going to try once more, I am sure that I can do it

I relax and close my eyes and try to forget that I just blew it

I hear the pool pump rumble and the chatter of children’s voices

I wonder what they want for lunch and think about their choices

Buggar! done it again, I have a brain which never slows

It wanders about all over the place, never knowing where it goes

Mindfulness is a useful skill to help when troubles prevail ya

but I must admit when it comes to focus, I am a complete failure!

The other day someone asked me what I do in my spare time

I answered facetiously ‘I don’t have any spare time’

What is spare time? Time left over from another day , not used yet?

Unnamed?  Un-allocated?  Unused?

I love the idea of spare time, something I can put away and use later

I could save a few minutes each day and have a longer holiday

I could give some of my un-allocated time to people who need more time

Spare time is a myth, all time is used up, sometimes productively and sometimes unproductively

My time is allocated, I use every second, Spare is not applicable here

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Sometimes I feel large and capable and useful and I charge through the day making good decisions

Sometimes I feel that the world is at my fingertips and I can do anything, I am constructive

Sometimes I feel small and weak and useless and I hunch through the day avoiding decisions

Sometimes I feel bowed down and sad and unable to be of any use to anyone, I wonder why I am.

Each day is new and full of change and promise, each day brings challenges that I need to face

Some days are easy and some days are hard, some days i feel light and airy and full of laughter

Some days I feel weighted down, my heart aches and my eyes break down wetly for what cannot be changed

Happiness is not an everyday thing it is a sometimes treat, a glimpse of life, a satisfaction

Happiness and sadness live together in me, one tempering, one lifting till life adjusts