Penny's Jottings

There is a cool breeze coming through the open door, sounds of dogs snoring and birds calling goodnight

cars driving past and muffled sounds of music from neighboring houses, delicious smells of barbecues

The evening is warm, the fan circles wearily overhead, the TV boringly blares in a corner of the room

and I am thinking of my Mum, wondering how she is and wishing she was here so we can chat and drink tea

we would talk about the state of the world, the family and her art, while we talk we sip tea, warm and sweet

we would laugh she would say that the dog is asking for something and I would say the dog does not talk

we would talk about books we have read and we would do the latest crossword puzzle and think of Dad

we would discuss what we have done today and what we will do tomorrow and we would play cards

we might look at what’s on TV and watch the news, talking about what we see and hear, serious

we could eat chocolate and play uno and laugh at memory loss and silliness, talk about her health

we would talk of stories from our shared past. walks we have done together, family members now gone

thinking of my Mum at the end of the day, hearing the sounds of the night and feeling the breeze on my back

A barbecue for Saturday lunch, bringing a drink  and something to munch. Arriving late cause that is my wont, come in the back gate the party is on.

Greeted by music and glasses clinking , friends laughing and friends drinking, pausing to kiss and hug hello, meet new partners, share food.

Familiar jokes and familiar stories,  sharing tales of each others glories. Close friends who know each other well, know the good and accept the bad, good friends.

Eye smarting onions, burning meats,  lots of sugar-filled home made sweets. leaning across to hear more clearly, interrupting, shouting over, enjoying

Colouring in and laughing out loud, comfortable with the  fun loving crowd, swapping seats to have time with each person, I  love a barbecue for Sunday lunch

Out to lunch with friends I’ve known for many years, enjoying conversation, catching up. Reveling in the moment, enjoying the joy of successes and sharing the sadness of loss. Hearing of the adventures, laughing at and with each other, shared merriment, safe  in our knowledge of each other.

I love these women, they fill my soul; when I look around the table and hear them speak I remember our rich history. I trust these women, they are in my present and my past, they renew my belief in humanity, there are good people in the world and these women are good people. I like these women, they are fun to be with and each one has an aspect that is different from the others and adds to the circle of friendship.

we had fun!!

I love spending time with my great grand and grands, I love the feel of their soft trusting hands. I love to see the joy in their faces and the marks where tears have left their traces.

I love to watch them change and grow, and help them to learn what they want to know. I love to trace the family traits, the habits, the skills, the loves and the hates.

One is an actor and one is so smart, one is delightful and just wins my heart. One is outgoing another is shy, one full of dreams, one questioning why.

One is naive and one is street clever,  one full of tantrums and one calm forever. I love all the differences, the sameness as well, and when they’re together they get on so well.

I love when they use their guile on me to persuade and to get me to see what they see. I love that they’re smart and loving and canny but most of all I love I’m their granny!

I just had a two week break from work and my head was full of plans

clean the house, do some craft and spend quality time with my grands

but the best laid plans, as Robbie Burns said, can often go astray

and sciatica came visiting  my place and refused to go away

now  sciatica is a pain in the but and a pain in the leg as well

this very unwelcome visitor turned my break from heaven to hell

The good thing about sciatica is that people are full of advice

exercise, take painkillers, use heat packs and pack on the ice

I did a little of everything and hoped I was doing it right

the thought that sciatica would never leave gave me quite a fright

The break is now over and I’m off to work once more

sciatica has not left me but is not always quite as sore

the silver lining on the cloud is my crochet rug’s nearly done

so after all sciatica nil …….. and Penny has only just won!

Willie wagtails are Aboriginal messenger birds, I know this because an Aboriginal friend told me when I had seen one jumping around on my driveway seconds before I was informed that an Aboriginal friend of mine had passed away. Freaky!!

Two willie wagtails jumped on the pathway in front of my dog and me when we were out walking. That day I found out that Sharon was losing her battle with breast cancer and my mum was unwell.

A willie wagtail was on my letterbox on the day Sharon told us she only had a few weeks left. At the wake a willie wagtail danced on the table where my friend and I were sitting.

Yesterday I was out hosing the back garden when a willie wagtail hopped onto the fence. What?? again??? No!!!! I gave that sucker no eye contact and by accident he may have been hosed a little……. enough!!

I was born in England; I was British through and through

I understood class systems ; I knew what to do

I moved to Australia when I was twenty two

I knew who I was

I have been in Australia for more than 40 years

I’ve had four children and learnt to swallow beers

some time has been spent in shedding homesick tears

but I’m happy!!

I became an Australian, I proudly took the vow

to be a law abiding citizen to the Aussie flag i bow

I am settled in Australia I’m a great grandma now

and I’m happy!!

But something really bothers me,  I do not understand

I am seen as an Australian when I am in England

but here in Australia ‘Pommie Bastard’ is my brand

am I a Pom-Aus?

I feel like I’m in limbo with no sense of identity

I am unsure how to describe the real me

in either country my persona fits uneasily

who am I?

My children start to groan when I ‘mispronounce ‘ a word

‘Mums English accent’ is the comment to be heard

But when I’m in England no-one understands a word

They shout at me!

My children are Australian, my parents are both Brits

I have an American sister, my family is in bits!

I have no clue where my true allegiance sits!

I just don’t fit!

All immigrants must have the same experience as me

their culture shock I recognise, with empathy!

Australia’s Fair be gentle to the scared refugee