Theres a baby in the house and we’re living in a mess

smiling, screaming, pooping, he’s very hard to dress

The dog is so dejected, feeling quite neglected

underneath the high chair collecting food that’s been ejected

Theres a baby in the house and toys in every space

cars, books and lego scattered around the place

eating porridge with his hands, careless where it lands

expecting instant gratification for whatever he demands

Theres a baby in the house with a smile to melt your heart

and a scream to peirce the eardrums if he thinks you are apart

crawling around at breakneck speed, scattering books he cannot read

gazing hungrily at my food with soulful, overt greed

Theres a baby in the house and I can’t put up my feet

read a book, watch a show, unless he is asleep

but then when he is sleeping, round the house I’m creeping

trying to get the place in order before I hear him squeaking

Theres a baby in the house and it really is quite fun

He is full of life and vigour until the day is done

with a giggle and a smile, and a wiggle of his bum

he has his ancient granny wrapped around his thumb