Maggie’s a hero, a brave fearless pal

someone to look up to, a great type of gal

She tells tales of valour and I am in awe

as she fearlessly strives when most would withdraw

She shares stories of spiders as big as my hand

lurking and crawling as she travels the land

spiders to make an arachnaphobe quake

and she does not speak of those that are fake!

huntsmen just waiting till she enters her car

then cruelly revealing just where they are

spiders seen running across windscreen pane

Then hiding, never to be seen again!

Does she crash the car or burn it quite fast?

does she blow the car up or give fly spray a blast?

does she smack and smack and scream a little?

No she is calm and just a tad nocommittal

she calmly just puts it into a glass

and carefully transports it on to the grass

My hero! my Champion! The apple of my eye

Me? I am shaking, I need a whisky and dry!